Somebody says it at the kitchen table, or you say it yourself at a quiet hour: let's just do Sunday dinner at Mom's, every week, it will be easier. It might be easier. It also might land on the kids' row without anyone writing it down, and then you have a standing commitment you cannot leave without a conversation nobody wants to have.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Check which row it lands on
Put the dinner on the calendar before you tell anyone yes. Look at whose row it sits in. If it sits in Mom's row, the kids come only when they want to, and that needs saying out loud. If it sits in the kids' row, then every week you are driving the kids across town for a meal they may or may not want, and the dinner is taking a slice of time that was already spoken for. Either answer can be fine. The problem is finding out in week three.
Count the drive both ways
Drive the route at the time you would actually leave, with the car seats in, and then drive it back. Ask two questions. Does the trip home fit before the youngest one's bedtime? Does a practice, a late meeting, or a traffic pattern you already know about push the return into the dark or into a rush? A dinner that ends with a tired child buckled into a seat in the dark is not a restful dinner, for anybody.
Decide who cooks and who cleans
Ask Mom what she wants to eat and whether her kitchen can hold what you plan to bring. Check the oven space, the counter, and the dish rack before the first Sunday, not during it. Then settle three small things: whether you bring a dish or cook in her kitchen, whether leftovers go home with you, and who washes the pans. Most standing dinners fall apart over the dishes, not the food.
Name the week it does not happen
Every standing thing breaks sometimes. A kid runs a fever, your shift runs long, Mom is having a day when company is too much. Ask now what the rule is for each of those. Who calls, how far ahead, and what happens to the plan that week? Write the answer down in the same place as the calendar, so nobody has to guess at the door. If the cancellation rule is clear, the dinner stays a gift instead of a debt.
Look at the afternoon, not just the dinner
The dinner itself is the easy part. The hours before it are where the load builds up: the drive, the shopping, the cooking, the nap that gets skipped. If that stretch is already full on your week, the dinner is not a small add-on. It is the afternoon window, and that is where non-medical help at home can cover meals, errands, and rides, if the family decides that is worth the cost. If the afternoon is the part that needs covering, look at Local Help in St. Louis before you promise anything.
Try four Sundays, then sit down and check
Offer a trial, not a forever. Agree on four weeks, then sit down with the calendar and ask three things. Did the kids' row survive? Did the drive home stay calm? Did Mom enjoy having everyone at the table, or did she spend the whole evening managing it? Ask the kids too, in plain words, what they would keep and what they would drop. A trial that ends with a clear answer is far easier to renew than a standing promise you have to walk back.