On paper, the plan is beautifully simple: Mom spends some afternoons at her house and some at yours. The same helper comes wherever she is. Everyone stays flexible. Nobody has to rearrange the entire family calendar.
Then you start calling providers and discover that flexibility has paperwork.
A helper serving two houses may involve separate travel rules, different arrival windows, mileage charges, longer minimum visits, or duties that are allowed at one address but not the other. Even when the two houses are only a few exits apart in West County, the provider may treat them as two service locations.
Before you compare schedules, find out whether you are buying one repeating job or two smaller jobs that happen to involve the same person.
Put both addresses on the split week
Start with the actual week, not the version where every school pickup happens on time and nobody leaves a lunchbox in the back seat.
Use the same page for the kids and Mom. Put the kids' row on top and Mom's row underneath. Write the address beside every block of help. If a helper would need to change locations during a visit, mark that drive in lemon too.
Your page might show Mom at her house while you work, followed by dinner at yours on one afternoon. Another day, she may already be at your house because you brought her over after an appointment. Those are not interchangeable shifts if the helper must drive Mom, follow her in a separate car, or wait for you to transport her.
The location belongs inside the plan, not in a note you hope everyone remembers.
Ask whether each house starts a separate minimum
A provider may have a minimum length for each visit. Ask whether moving to another address during the same afternoon continues the original visit or begins a second one.
Be painfully specific:
- Can one scheduled visit include time at both houses?
- Does travel between the houses count as paid time?
- Is there a mileage charge in addition to the scheduled time?
- Does arriving at the second house trigger another minimum?
- Can the helper finish at a different address from where the visit began?
If the answer depends on who drives, ask for both versions. A helper driving Mom may be priced differently from a helper following you while Mom rides in your car.
This is where an afternoon that looks like three hours on your calendar can quietly become two visits plus a drive. Better to meet that fact during the phone call than on an invoice.
Check whether both addresses are inside the service area
West County geography has a talent for making two places look close until school traffic joins the conversation. Do not assume that a provider serving Mom's neighborhood also serves yours under the same terms.
Give the full addresses and ask whether both are inside the normal service area. Then ask whether the provider assigns helpers by territory. If the houses fall in different territories, the same helper may not be available at both.
That matters because your plan may depend on one familiar person knowing where Mom keeps the tea, which garage code actually works, and why the dog believes every visitor has arrived exclusively for him.
If one helper cannot cover both locations, compare the real alternatives. You could keep all paid help at Mom's house, schedule separate helpers by address, or make your house the regular location for the afternoon window. Each choice moves work somewhere else. Name where it goes before choosing the option that merely looks least expensive.
Separate transportation from help at the house
“Help Mom at my house” and “bring Mom to my house” are different jobs.
If transportation is part of the plan, ask what the provider requires before a helper can drive Mom. Also ask whether the helper can use Mom's car, the helper's car, or either one. Find out how mileage is handled and whether drive time counts toward the visit.
If transportation is not included, put the driver on the split week. Do not write “family.” Write a name.
Then mark the return trip. Plenty of plans get Mom to your house and become mysteriously vague around how she gets home. That vague spot usually lands during homework, dinner, or the meeting you moved once already.
If Mom's ability to ride safely or manage a transfer is in question, take that part to her care team. The scheduling decision is yours. The clinical judgment is not something a household calendar should be asked to make.
Compare the duties at each house
The address may change what you expect the helper to do.
At Mom's house, the afternoon might include lunch cleanup, laundry, bringing in packages, and setting out what she wants for dinner. At your house, the same block might involve companionship while you finish work, warming food, and keeping the afternoon moving until you can take over.
Write a short task list for each location. Ask the provider to confirm which tasks fit its non-medical service and whether anything requires extra time or a different arrangement.
Do not hide transportation, pet care, stairs, or household errands inside the phrase “just keep her company.” Those details affect which helper can take the job and how much time the visit needs.
Find the handoff that does not require you
A two-house plan becomes expensive in a second way when every location change requires you to leave work.
Walk through access at both houses. Who has a key? Is there a working door code? Will the helper need you to open a garage remotely? What happens if Mom arrives after the helper?
Also decide where the visit notes, emergency contacts, and household instructions live. The helper should not have to text you to learn that Mom is at your house today. You should not have to run a tiny dispatch center from the grocery store parking lot.
The goal is not to remove yourself from Mom's life. It is to stop making your physical presence the key that unlocks every paid hour.
Price the boring version of the week
Ask for the cost of the schedule you can repeat, not the heroic schedule where you provide every ride and absorb every change.
Give each provider the same sample week with the same addresses, start times, end times, transportation expectations, and tasks. Ask for the total recurring charge and which events would change it.
Useful questions include:
- What happens to the charge if Mom changes houses after the schedule is posted?
- How much notice is needed to switch the service address?
- What happens if the helper arrives at one house and Mom is at the other?
- Can unused time at one address be used at the other?
- Are travel time and mileage shown separately?
- Does a different helper cover the second address?
Write the answers beside the provider's name. “Flexible” is not an answer unless you know what flexibility changes.
Choose the home base before choosing the helper
If serving two houses adds too much cost or too many moving pieces, choose one regular home base for paid help.
Pick the address by looking at the whole family week. Which location avoids a second drive? Which one has reliable access? Where are the needed household tasks? Which choice keeps you from abandoning the kids' row whenever Mom's row shifts?
A consistent location can make the schedule easier to staff and easier to explain. It can also make changes more obvious. If Mom needs to be elsewhere, you will see the collision instead of discovering it when someone rings the wrong doorbell.
For more local questions to use when comparing non-medical help, keep the checklist at Local Help in St. Louis beside your split week.
The best plan is not the one with the cleverest shuffle between houses. It is the one that still works when your meeting runs long, practice moves, and Mom is sitting at your kitchen table asking whether anyone remembered dessert.