How do I take Mom to chemo and get my daughter to practice

The split week

Treatment day is a repeating yellow cell. Map the hours, put one name on the chair and a different name on practice, and ask the nurse who should be at the house afterward.

By the Between Mom and Kids desk. September 11, 2026. Every number links to its source.

Taking my mom to chemo and my daughter to practice is the search you type when both calendars already have ink on the same afternoon. The infusion center gave you an arrive time. The coach gave you a start time. You have one car. Speed will not make New Ballas and a field in Eureka occupy the same hour. This page is the hour-by-hour sheet. It does not describe the treatment. How she will feel is a question for the oncology nurse.

Treat the day as a repeating yellow cell

On the split week, both rows get a mark on treatment day. If the center booked her every other Thursday, that Thursday is a standing collision, the same way Monday practice is. Write it in ink. The first visit is often yours. You have questions, you need to see the building, and Mom may want you in the room. After that, the chair can rotate. Practice does not rotate unless you name a second driver. It is a cell. Put names on it.

Map the infusion day hour by hour

Take the same sideways sheet. Fill in the times people have already given you: the arrive time, practice start, practice pickup, and the hour the nurse says she should not be alone. The yellow is everything that overlaps. Here is the skeleton.

Block	Mom's row	Kids' row
Leave home	Pick her up. Drive toward New Ballas if that is the corridor you were given.	School
Arrive time the center named	The named adult sits in the chair or the waiting room.	School
During the visit	Waiting is care. A good intermittent FMLA block if the adult is you.	School, then the bell
Leaving the building	Ask the nurse the questions below. Drive her home.	Pickup, then practice drop-off
The hours after	An adult at her house. Respite or companion care, not a teenager.	Practice, then dinner

If the drive is the New Ballas corridor, two west county hospital addresses families already know how to reach are Mercy Hospital St. Louis at 615 S. New Ballas Road, St. Louis, MO 63141, (314) 251-6000, and Missouri Baptist Medical Center at 3015 N. Ballas Road, St. Louis, MO 63131, 314-996-5000. Those are locations and main numbers, not a claim about which building does which visit. The center that booked her is the one on the appointment card. Write the parking note the first time. The 3pm to 7pm page is the same method for the ordinary afternoon.

Name who sits in the chair

Three people can sit with her: you, a sibling, a friend. Name one before the night before. The Family Caregiver Alliance's guide to holding a family meeting says everyone on the caregiving team should be in the room. Put the treatment calendar on the table. Ask who takes which Thursday. A friend who can sit and drive her home is on the team. A sibling in Ballwin who can take the arrive time is on the team. Keep the first visit, and any visit where you need the nurse, for yourself. The Alliance notes that one sibling takes the primary role because she lives closest. You live closest. The Caregiver Action Network says ask siblings and talk to your employer. Do both before the next arrive time.

Name who does practice drop-off

The person in the chair cannot also be the person at the field. Write a second name: the other parent, a carpool, a neighbor on that route. Tell your daughter the name and the time the night before. If no second driver exists, the chair has to belong to someone else that day. You cannot occupy both cells. The working moms page is the longer list of where extra adults come from. For this collision you need two names: chair, and field.

Use intermittent FMLA for the waiting

Infusion-center waiting is a clean use of intermittent leave. The Department of Labor describes FMLA as unpaid, job-protected leave. Eligible employees get up to 12 workweeks in a 12-month period, and when medically necessary they may take it in separate blocks of time or as a reduced schedule. Eligibility is 12 months on the job, 1,250 hours in the prior 12 months, and 50 employees within 75 miles. Fact Sheet 28F says care includes transportation needs, and that driving to appointments counts. Sitting through the visit is care. Parent does not include parents-in-law. When the schedule is known, Fact Sheet 28E says give 30 days notice when it is possible and practical. The first time, you do not have to say FMLA, but you do have to give enough information for the employer to know the leave may be covered. The employer may ask for health care provider information and must allow 15 calendar days. The FMLA page has the sentence for HR.

The hours after: an adult, not a teenager

After treatment she may need a person at home. That is not a guess from the pickup line, and it is not a job for a teenager with a key. Ask the oncology nurse, before you leave the building, whether she should be alone that evening, and for how long. How she will feel is the nurse's question.

If someone should be in the house, that someone is respite or companion care. The National Institute on Aging describes respite as lasting from a few hours to several weeks, at home among other places. Missouri's Private Duty / Private Pay type needs no physician order for aide personal care, respite, or companion care. A person who meets her at the door, stays through dinner, and texts you at practice pickup is that. The Family Caregiver Alliance's guide to hiring home help suggests telling her that accepting the help is something she can do for you.

Medicare does not pay for 24-hour-a-day care at home, homemaker services, or custodial or personal care when that is the only care needed. To qualify for Medicare home health you must need part-time or intermittent skilled services and be homebound; in most cases that means skilled nursing and home health aide services up to 8 hours a day combined, maximum 28 hours a week. Companion hours after a visit are private pay for most families. MO HealthNet can help with personal care if she qualifies; DSDS is 866-835-3505. The Senior Resource Line, 1-800-235-5503, routes you by ZIP to Aging Ahead in St. Louis, St. Charles, Franklin and Jefferson counties, which has served those counties since 1973. Its caregiver page lists (636) 207-0847. The Alliance reports that about 50 percent of caregivers get no outside help at all. A teenager cannot be the plan for the hours after.

Who can sit with Mom at the infusion center if I have to get my daughter to practice?

You, a sibling, or a friend. Put a name on the chair and a different name on drop-off. First visits stay yours. Repeating Thursdays can move. If nobody else can sit, somebody else drives to practice.

Can I use FMLA for infusion days?

Yes, if you are eligible and the leave is medically necessary. Driving her there counts. Waiting counts. Give 30 days notice when the schedule is known. Use the twelve weeks on the chair days that need you.

Can my teenager stay with Grandma after treatment?

No, not as the plan. After treatment she may need a person at home. That person is an adult doing respite or companion care. Ask the oncology nurse whether she should be alone that evening. If the answer is no, name an adult before you leave the lot.

What to do tonight

Write the next three treatment dates and the arrive times on the split week. Write practice start next to each one.
Put a name on the chair and a different name on drop-off for each date. A blank is the thing you fix tonight, not in the car.
If the chair is you, copy the FMLA sentence from the FMLA page into an email to HR, with the dates. Thirty days notice when you can.
Write three questions for the oncology nurse: Can she be alone this evening. For how long. Who should we call if that changes. Do not ask a website how she will feel.

When to ask the care team or the doctor

Ask the oncology nurse, before you leave, whether she is ready that evening for bathing, dressing, the bathroom, stairs, cooking, shopping, cleaning, bills, and driving to appointments. Medicare's discharge planning checklist tells families to ask those questions, and says the doctor and staff work with patients and caregivers to plan leaving, with caregivers as important members of the planning team. If anything about the visit is new, a fall, confusion, not eating, call the clinic. A companion can be in the house. Deciding what she needs in the house is the care team's call. Nobody on this site is a clinician.

Disclosed feature. Paid placement.

New Plan Care

New Plan Care is an independently owned non-medical in-home care company based in Chesterfield, Missouri, serving Ballwin, Chesterfield, Eureka, Glencoe, Grover, Pacific, Valley Park and St. Louis. A companion in the house after the visit is the hour that lets you still make practice. It does not publish an hourly rate, and neither do we. Call (314) 405-0887.

New Plan Care pays for this spot. It is a client of OwnersFirm, which publishes this site, so read it as an advertisement with a phone number rather than as a result, a rank or a recommendation drawn from any of the articles on this page.

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Cited on this page

Driving countscare includes transportation needs; driving to appointments counts, per DOL Fact Sheet 28F. A few hoursto several weeks: how the NIA describes respite, including at home after a visit. Does not payMedicare does not pay for homemaker or custodial care when that is the only care needed. Ask thesebathing, dressing, bathroom, stairs, cooking, shopping, cleaning, bills, driving to appointments.

How do I take Mom to chemo and still get my daughter to practice?