Somewhere in the second week of the split schedule, you notice you are spending more time in the car than in either house. That is the drive, and it grows without anyone deciding it should. Nobody chooses forty minutes of pickup traffic. It piles up one leg at a time.
Local option: New Plan Care gives families in the St. Louis area in-home help so a parent can stay home: companionship, help with bathing and dressing, meals, and overnight care. Call (314) 405-0887.
Count the legs before you count the hours
Write down every leg of a normal week as its own line: home to Mom's, Mom's to school, school to home, home to work and back, and any errand that takes you across the county. Next to each line, note the time of day and the drive time at that hour, not the time the map app shows on a quiet Sunday. Pickup-hour traffic near the schools is a different drive from the one you imagined when you chose the house.
What pushes the load up
Four things reliably make the week heavier. The first is two schools in two directions, because every kid on a different route adds a leg. The second is Mom's home sitting on the far side of the county from yours, so each visit starts with a long drive before anything useful happens. The third is one car in a household that needs two at the same moment. The fourth is appointments scattered across different towns, each small on the calendar and together a day of driving.
What pulls it down
The easiest fix is usually a shared ride. A neighbor or another school parent who already drives the same route can take one leg of the week if you return the favor on another. Put the arrangement in writing in the group thread with the days and times, so it does not depend on memory. Check whether the school allows a set pickup spot that shortens the wait. And ask whether the errand legs can go to a non-medical helper: a person who drives Mom to the pharmacy counter or the grocery store, or to a standing appointment, takes real hours off your list. Medication decisions stay with the family, the doctor and the pharmacist. The ride itself is an errand.
Compare your options before you commit
Lay out three versions of the week on paper: you drive every leg, you share the school legs and drive the rest, or you share the school legs and hand Mom's errands to a helper. For each version, add up the weekly drive time and the number of car handoffs. The version with the fewest handoffs is not always the best one, but the version with the most handoffs will fail first on a busy week. Pick the setup you can hold up on the worst Tuesday, not the easiest one on paper.
If the afternoon hours are the real pinch and you want a place to start looking for non-medical help nearby, the Local Help in St. Louis page is a good first stop.