The kids' week
practices, games, pickups- MonPractice pickup at 6
- TueHis game, 4:30 tip-off
- WedEarly release day
- ThuHer driving practice after school
- FriAway game, carpool home
Two calendars, one car, west St. Louis County
You are raising teenagers and helping your mom, and both weeks keep landing on the same afternoon.
Put the kids' week beside Mom's week. Where they touch are the hours to hand off, and this desk shows who can take them: the job, the family, public programs, and a few paid hours of non-medical help at Mom's house.
Mom's week
rides, meals, company- MonGroceries and the pharmacy counter
- TueDoctor at 3:15, twenty minutes away
- WedFine on her own, a phone call
- ThuThe afternoon she should not spend alone
- FriDinner and some company
An example week, not data.
Tonight, before you put the phone down
Five small moves that make tomorrow smaller
If Mom is hurt or in danger right now, call 911.
- Draw two rows on one sheet.
Kids on top, Mom underneath, Monday to Friday. Only what repeats.
- Circle the cells that need you twice.
Those are the collisions. Most families find two or three a week, not twenty.
- Pick one circle to give away.
Start with the one that made you miss something that mattered to a kid.
- Put a name and a time in it.
A sibling gets a fixed day. A neighbor gets one pickup. Paid help gets a window, like 2 to 6 on Thursdays.
- Find the agency for Mom's address.
The Senior Resource Line routes you by her ZIP code. The number is below.
The split week, drawn out
Where the hours collide, and where outside help fits
An invented but ordinary week. Striped cells collide; dashed chips are where someone else could take Mom's side.
KidsMomCollisionHelp fits here
Swipe the table sideways to see the whole week.
| Time | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 to 9am | School drop-off | School drop-off | Carpool | School drop-off | Carpool |
| 9am to 3pm | Groceries after your lunch | She is fine until 2 | CollisionEarly release pickupYou are at workA neighbor takes the pickup | Quiet morning at home | Hair appointment, she drives |
| 3 to 5pm | Ride to practice | CollisionHis game at 4:30Doctor at 3:15Someone else sits in the waiting room | Homework at the table | CollisionDriving practice with youShould not be alone this afternoonCaregiver at Mom's, 2 to 6 | Pack for the away game |
| 5 to 7pm | Practice pickup at 6 | Dinner on a tray | Phone call, she is fine | Dinner started by the caregiver | CollisionAway game carpoolDinner and companyA sibling owns Fridays |
Tuesday: the waiting room
Wednesday: the job
Thursday: the 3 to 7 window
Eighteen reads
The reads, in two columns
Left, the job and the kids. Right, Mom's care and the woman carrying it.
Work and kids
The boss and the teenagers
The split week
How to balance work, kids and an elderly parent: the split weekTwo rows, one sheet of paper, and the collisions families hand off first. I cannot be at my son's game and at Mom's doctor appointment. What do I do?You pick the game. Someone else covers Mom's waiting room.Work
FMLA to take care of a parent while working: what it covers, what it does not, and how to ask HRUnpaid, job-protected, twelve weeks, and it can be taken a few hours at a time. How do working moms take care of aging parents without quitting either job?Four sources of hours. You cover collisions. You do not quit.The kids
My teenager is angry that I'm always at Grandma's. That is not a discipline problem. That is grief and a calendar.What teens are actually reacting to, and one weekly hour that belongs only to them. Why do I feel guilty about not being there for my kids because of my mom?The guilt runs both ways because every hour looks stolen. How do I take care of Mom and the teenagers at the same time?Three columns of jobs: yours, the teenagers', and hired hours. Should my teenager help take care of Grandma? The jobs that are fair, and the ones to keep off their plateRides, company, tech help and dinner are fair. How to talk to teenagers about Grandpa dying, and what to tell the younger kids about Grandma's declineShort scripts for 12, 15 and 18.Mom's care
Her afternoons, her house, and you
The split week
The 3pm to 7pm problem: after-school care and elder care at the same timeWhy this window is the one that breaks families. How do I take Mom to chemo and still get my daughter to practice?Treatment days are a repeating cell. Name who sits in the chair. How much time does caring for an elderly parent take per week?There is no single number for a parent. Is this sandwich generation burnout, or am I just tired?This page is not a diagnosis. It is what tired looks like when the week cannot hold. Is it too much to care for my mother and raise kids at the same time?Yes. One person cannot be the whole plan. Sandwich generation: how do I actually cope with both of them?Cope is not a better attitude. It is a week on paper.The house
Moving Mom in with us with teenagers in the house: the room, the rules, and the exit planThe first-floor room, the noise rules, and the exit plan you write before she arrives. My marriage is suffering because I am caring for my mother. Now what?The marriage is not the enemy of Mom. The calendar is.West county
In-home care for Mom while I work in St. Louis County: the west county sandwich map for 2026Rockwood and Parkway calendars next to the elder-care doors in the same ZIP codes.
What help at home looks like
A few hours at Mom's house, not a takeover
Non-medical help is a person, not a treatment. A Thursday window might run like this:
- 2:00Arrives and reads your note on the counter.
- 3:00Company, a short walk, a snack.
- 4:30A reminder for the tablets already sorted in her box.
- 5:15Dinner started, laundry folded.
- 6:00A text to you: ate, fine, or not fine and why.
A standing windowThe two worst afternoons, every week.
A morningThe hour before work.
A respite dayTournament Saturday or finals week.
OvernightIf the nights start going badly.
Respite, says the National Institute on Aging, may last anywhere from a few hours to several weeks at a time. Medicare does not pay for custodial or personal care when that is the only care needed, and Missouri lists private duty as its own type of care in the home. For most families these hours are private pay.
Recommended local provider
Put a name in Mom's row.
Tell them which afternoons collide. Support can start with a window or two a week.
New Plan Care Solutions is independently owned and operated in St. Louis by Stacie Postol: non-medical help at home in St. Louis and St. Charles counties, from companionship and homemaking to respite for family caregivers, with plans built together and support that can start with a few hours.
Disclosure: New Plan Care Solutions is a client of this site's publisher and compensates us for this placement. It is the only provider featured here, and the guides on this site are educational, not medical advice.
Call or text (314) 405-0887 or visit newplancare.com
Received. New Plan Care Solutions will contact you only in the way you asked. If it is urgent, call or text (314) 405-0887.
The work side
Leave from work, only as the Department of Labor states it
Real, and smaller than the pickup line says. Your employer may offer more.
From DOL Fact Sheet 28 and Fact Sheet 28F, checked September 12, 2026. The full walk-through is the FMLA page.
- What it is
- Unpaid, job-protected leave under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act.
- How much
- Up to 12 workweeks in a 12-month period.
- For Mom
- Care for a parent with a serious health condition. Parents in law are not included.
- Who qualifies
- 12 months with the employer, 1,250 hours in the 12 months before the leave, and a worksite with 50 employees within 75 miles.
- In pieces
- All at once or, when medically necessary, in separate blocks of time or on a reduced schedule.
Mom's side of the map
Local help in St. Louis, for this week
Which door you knock on depends on Mom's address, not yours. Each number was read on the official page; the full directory is on local help.
Aging Ahead
Area Agency on Aging for St. Louis, St. Charles, Franklin and Jefferson counties.
Aging Ahead caregiver support
As funding permits: in-home respite, adult day services, home safety changes. Ask what it offers a caregiver who works.
St. Louis Area Agency on Aging
If Mom lives inside the City of St. Louis. Weekdays, 8am to 5pm.
ARCH Respite Locator
Finds respite services near her. ARCH does not provide care itself.
Checked September 12, 2026. If a number changes, the official page wins.
Asked in the pickup line
The questions, the way you would actually ask them
Is it normal that I feel like I am failing both of them?
It is common, and it means one person is holding a plan built for three. Draw the week and give each collision a name that is not yours. If the exhaustion does not lift, tell your own doctor. More on the guilt.
Can I use FMLA to take care of my mother-in-law?
Not under the federal law. The Department of Labor's Fact Sheet 28F says the term parent does not include parents in law. If it is your husband's mother, the leave question belongs to his employer.
How do I get someone to sit with Mom on game days without it turning into a whole production?
Book a standing window before the season starts, not a favor the morning of. A sibling can own one fixed day, and a non-medical caregiver can hold the afternoon at Mom's house.
Should my 16-year-old just stay with Grandma after school?
Company, rides and dinner together are fair. Bathing, medicines, and being the only one home are not. The fair jobs, in full.
Does Medicare pay for someone to be at Mom's house in the afternoons?
Usually not. Medicare says it does not pay for custodial or personal care when that is the only care needed. For most families the afternoons are private pay. Missouri's in-home Medicaid program is requested through the DSDS Call Center at 866-835-3505.